Shape of my Heart
by Restrict
Summary: All is gonna be redone chapter by chapter. One is finished but the others are still the same: It's Selphie's b-day, but it's the birth of something more,
1. Torn Squares

Shape of My Heart: Torn Squares  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy as much as I want to...Blah, blah...  
  
The song 'Torn' is mine.  
  
This is just a shorty about Selphie, Irvine, Quistis and Zell. I know, I know... actually I don't but okay. If you don't get the title, you will eventually.  
  
Sort of POV: Irvine  
  
Irvine was awoken by an annoying sound on the bed stand. He turned to see his alarm clock blaring, the numbers blinking five o'clock. *Too early,* he thought to himself. Then he remembered why he had set it so early. It was July 16th. That meant one thing. Selphie's birthday. He grinned. He had a surprise for her. The gang had come together and decided that they would do something for the sparky gal's b-day. Quistis had set up the entire party balancing her teaching career. Squall decided he would buy the food. Rinoa got a list of presents to buy and money pitched in by everyone. Zell got the decorations. He was still a little steamed, remembering how Seifer of all people had pitched in to help 'chickenwuss' buy the balloons and streamers. And lastly, Quistis asked Irvine if he could help with the decorating. He hastily agreed to it when Selphie had rounded the corner. He sighed. She always gave him a boingy sensation in his heart. It was love. Real, larger than life love. Even though she had laughed at him the first time he told her she loved him, she kept saying those three words he wanted to hear so much. He sighed again knowing the decorations wouldn't get done by themselves.  
  
~  
  
POV: Selphie  
  
Selphie was wide awake. It was her big 2-5 birthday. Knowing the others, they would probably have wanted to wake up early to set up the quad or something for her birthday. So she decided to stay in her room, clean a bit here and there and then settle back on her bed and think. She thought about the first time Irvine had said he loved her. It was a while after her last birthday. She had laughed at him, thinking he was just saying it. But the hurt expressions in his eyes told a different story. She had quickly apologized and had felt bad for the rest of the week. She repeatedly said that she loved him, but she was worried that he could care less. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't sure if part of her heart was for Irvine. She sighed and stared straight ahead to the ceiling.  
  
~  
  
POV: Zell  
  
Zell sighed. Sweet Selphie would never be his. As much as he loved her... she still loved Irvine. He remembered he saw her crying in the training room a week after her 24th birthday. He comforted her and had found out the real reason for her crying. It was because Irvine had said that he loved her. She had laughed thinking it was a joke. But it wasn't. She felt so bad that she laughed. She wanted Irvine to know that she loved him just as much as he, but the words didn't come out right. His heart felt like it had been ripped out at that moment. He loved Selphie. He really loved her. He knew she and Irvine had been an item since forever, but... he wanted those emerald eyes, the sweet laughter, her soft skin... oh, he loved her so much. He gave a low groan and left his dorm room to see if Irvine needed any more help decorating the quad for Selphie's birthday.  
  
~  
  
POV: Quistis  
  
Quistis woke up, staring at the clock. She forgot to set her alarm and had woken up fifteen minutes late. She looked at her bed stand where a picture of the gang smiled back at her. The tall auburn hair cowboy was what was nagging at her. She sighed. Irvine. She liked Irvine a lot. A lot, a lot. That was why she had asked whether he would volunteered to help her with the decorations. She sighed again and dragged herself out of bed. She knew she could never have a chance with Irvine. He loved Selphie too much. Again she sighed and left her dorm room to meet Irvine in the quad.  
  
He's my best friend, he's my boyfriend  
  
He's a good guy, he's a good boy  
  
I am torn, who do I love?  
  
I am torn, who do I love?  
  
I'm living in a dilemma, have to make a choice  
  
Known one guy all my life, met this guy at the job  
  
Don't know why but whenever I'm by their sides  
  
I melt down, turn to goo  
  
Gotta choose him or you  
  
I am torn, I've been warned  
  
I am torn, who do I love  
  
Got to decide, who to choose  
  
I am torn, who do I love  
  
Want you both, life isn't fair  
  
Who do I love  
  
She's my best friend, she's my girlfriend  
  
She's so perfect, she's so sexy  
  
I am torn, who do I love?  
  
I am torn, who do I love?  
  
I'm living in a dilemma, have to make a choice  
  
Lived next to her all my life, met this girl once or twice  
  
Don't know why but whenever I'm with them  
  
I feel overwhelmed, what a man  
  
Gotta choose, know I can  
  
I am torn, I've been warned  
  
I am torn, who do I love  
  
Gotta decide, who to choose  
  
I am torn, who do I love  
  
Want you both, life isn't fair  
  
Who do I love  
  
~~ Jaye (ResurreXtion) suggested I redo this story. I read it over and realized what she meant. I'm sorry I've been very stupid people. There could be a revote on who gets who again either through my e-mail: sacrifice3@dr.com or put it on your review otherwise I'll just recount the votes from last time and cut out double (in Jaye's case twenty) votes. And as the great Jaye says, flames are always welcome. 


	2. Queasy Stomachs and Stars

Shape of My Heart: Queasy Stomachs and Stars  
  
Another shorty. I promise to make them longer if I get reviews. The polls are open: Who gets the girl? Irvine the guy? Quistis (Selphie) Seifer (Irvine) Selphie Zell Other Other Send yer vote to my email: sacrifice3@dr.com or to ResureXtion at tramawardjirion@doctor.com (she's helping! Thanx a lot! I couldn't have sort this all out without ya!) or put it on the review... The song *Dizzy Dreamworld* is Jaye's aka ResureXtion, she's got a killer voice.  
  
*I get dizzy spinning round  
  
Only way to get to the dreamworld  
  
I can't feel my feet on the ground  
  
I get dizzy, dizzy spinning round*  
  
Seifer woke up around six. His stomach was a little queasy. He was thinking. About Quistis. And Rinoa. Not. That's what he would say if anyone asked. He was really thinking about little Selphie. She was so innocent. He liked that. She was an image of purity. He really like that. She was the first to befriend him really. The others acted as though he had a contagious disease or something, but wouldn't admit. Selphie on the other hand, treated him like a human being and told him her true feelings about their friendship. Friendship. That was all it was. He sighed. He had liked her for a long time. Longer then he thought.  
  
*I don't even know who you are  
  
I just see you there, no feeling can compare  
  
To what your moves do to me  
  
I close my eyes and slip away  
  
Open them up to see you near me*  
  
~"Hey, Seif!" she had called out to him one day. He turned to see her running towards him. She finally reached him and started huffing, catching her breath. She then looked up at him. "Hey, I told ya I wanted ta talk ta ya. Got a minute?" *All the time for you, beautiful,* he had thought a little surprised at himself.  
  
"Hurry up and don't waste my time," he had replied sounding as callous as possible.  
  
*You have a power over me  
  
My head is spinning, I can't feel a thing  
  
I am not here, I'm in a dreamworld  
  
Want to be with you, feel your body  
  
Cause the way you move makes me dizzy, dizzy  
  
Send me to the dreamworld*  
  
"Okay. I wanted ta talk to ya 'bout you know, everything that is going on. Let's go to the quad!" She grabbed his arm and dragged him to the place she spent the most of her free time at. He had let her drag him. When she stopped he had pushed up closer to her leaving only a hand's width between them. A baby's hand. She didn't seem to mind. "The others have been saying really mean things about you. I wanted ya to know that... no matter what you think... I won't forget that we were orphans together. And no matter what, we can still be friends. I mean people make mistakes right?" She smiled at him, slowly melting the ice on his heart. ~  
  
*I catch your eye and you walk on by  
  
My knees fall out, they're so weak  
  
I take your hand, we're on the dance floor  
  
Your hands on my hips, I'm feeling you  
  
I close my eyes and see your face*  
  
All and all, he decided that he like Selphie. A lot. There were things standing in his way though. One was chicken-wuss. He chuckled. Chicken- wuss. As much as the two hated each other in the past, it was the past. Chicken-wuss was now more like a nickname. Anyway the problem with him was that he liked Selphie for as long as anyone could remember. The second thing was the irritable cowboy. He had to admit, the sharpshooter had some nice qualities to him, but (turning to big brother mode) the cowboy was just too much of a womanizer to be good for Selphie. After all, he saw the cowboy spending way too much time with the 'Instructor'. He chuckled. And the last and third thing that was standing in the way was his own foolish pride. Love is such a strong feminine-like emotion. He'd almost rather die then say he loved someone. Almost. Rinoa was a foolish boy love thing. He was a boy then. Just like Edea said. And Rinoa was just too rebellious for him. Selphie on the other hand was simple and though innocent he knew she would not let him take advantage of her. He really, really, really liked that. He sighed. What a problem. *I'll go help the cowboy with the decorations,* he thought. He chuckled at that. Selphie had no idea what she was getting into becoming his friend again.  
  
*You have a power over me  
  
My head is spinning, I can't feel a thing  
  
I am not here, I'm in a dreamworld  
  
Want to be with you, feel your body  
  
Cause the way you move makes me feel dizzy, dizzy  
  
I'm in the dreamworld  
  
Every move you make, I get dizzy  
  
Every word you say, I get dizzy  
  
Eveything you do, I get dizzy  
  
With you, I get dizzy*  
  
Tee-hee. Until next time, Dark Soldier #2. Don't ferget ta review, flames welcome. And vote on which guy gets the girl and which girl gets the guy. 


	3. I Have to Tell You Something

Shape of My Heart: I Have to Tell You Something  
  
The polls are still open. This is what it is as of December 10th 6:40 p.m. By Chapter 4, polls will be closed, so hurry and vote! Multiple votes can count too ('Cept Jaye's. She's been filling my inbox with votes for Seifer... sigh) Irvine: 11% Zell:32% Seifer: 42% Other: 15% Selphie:24% Quistis: 62% Other: 16%  
  
Zell and Seifer are really close and Irvine is lagging, I agree, Selvines are cute, but they can get tiring... Other is Squall, Nida and Cid so far. Cid? Eww. 'Sides he's already married...  
  
Quistis is in the running to get Irvine. Other is Rinoa, Library girl and Edea. I really don't want to know why someone put Edea.  
  
And thanx again to ResureXtion. Jaye did all the math fer me... I suck at math... and suggested the entire story idea... though it involves a certain someone too much... *cough*seifer*cough*. Anywayz enjoy, vote in yer review or email to sacrifice3@dr.com or tramawardjirion@doctor.com and yes Houston, I noticed that dr and doctor are the same thing. It was pure coincidence that we had similar e-mail thingies after all we use to intern at the same hospital... The poem is 'I Want to Fall in Love' by drumroll, me. It's not very good...Anywayz stop reading this and get to the story!  
  
  
  
  
  
Irvine threw the last streamer up into the air hoping that by some miracle it would find a place to snag on to. It stuck onto a ballon which moved awkwardly over a beam. The streamer fell onto the beam and decided to stay there. Zell laughed at the streamer's miraculous feat. Irvine grinned with satisfaction. Seifer who had given several surprises since he returned to the Balamb Garden let on a small smirk of amusment. With the quad's stage set up elaborately and the dance floor cleaned and tables elegantly set up, the trio slumped onto chairs exhaustedly. "Not bad," Zell commented.  
  
"Yup," Irvine agreed. They both turned to Seifer. "Thanks, couldn't've done it without you. By the way, why the heck didja help?"  
  
"Humph, looking the gift horse in the mouth cowboy?" Seifer retorted.  
  
"Try not ta. But this little horsey isn't one to let me ride. Generally it throws people off, eh?" Irvine smirked.  
  
"I have my reasons, cowboy." Rinoa ran into the quad up to the trio.  
  
"Get cleaned up you guys," she said after she caught her breath. "Quistis is going to distract Selphie for twenty minutes. Hurry!" She paused and looked around. "Hey, this is really good." She smiled at them. "Get going!" Zell and Irvine jumped to their feet and left. Seifer on the other hand stayed seated. "That means you, too Seifer."  
  
"You mean I'm actually invited?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
"Hey, Selphie would have wanted you to come, right? It's her birthday. And you just have to come. After all, you wouldn't want to be the one who made Sephy cry, right?" His heart stopped for a moment.  
  
*Can't let Selphie cry... ergh... going soft.* "Fine, fine." He stood up and trudged out of the quad to the boys' dormitory. He bumped into Nida on the way. *Great.*  
  
"Good morning Seifer," he greeted.  
  
"Whatever," Seifer replied.  
  
"Great day for a party, eh? Boy, is Selphie gonna be happy! I hear Irvine's finally gonna pop the question. It's would really be great for her to settle down with someone." Jealousy brewed in Seifer. He was going to lose Selphie, completely, in a few mere hours.  
  
*Not going to let that happen, are we Seifer buddy?*  
  
~  
  
"Quit fooling around, Selphie," Quistis remarked pulling the energetic woman from the fountain. *The others are waiting.* "The Garden Festival is coming up. We need to clean up the quad!"  
  
"Ooh, you're going to help?" Selphie asked half pleadingly, half knowingly.  
  
"Yes. Why not. You can't do it all on your own."  
  
"Thank's Quisty!" With that Selphie let Quistis drag her to the quad. The lights were out and the ceiling was covered. The entire quad was pitch dark. "I can't see a thing. Tee-hee, I can't even find the lightswitch!" Her tiny hands groped the wall for the switch. "Found it!" She flicked the switch.  
  
"SURPRISE!!!" everyone yelled in unison. Selphie gave a big grin and with Quistis ran down the stairs to the dance floor area. The usual gang was there as was the library girl, Ellone, Matron, Cid and Nida. Laguna, Kiros and Ward were there, too. Seifer was standing in the shadows. Fujin and Raijin were blended into the crowd.  
  
"Woo hoo!"  
  
"Happy birthday to you," the crowd started to sing. Yup even Raijin. Fujin remained silent and Seifer stayed in his corner. Irvine and Rinoa held the very large cake, decorated to look like Trabia garden, twenty-five candles on top. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday, sweet Selphie, happy birthday to you!" Selphie stepped back a moment to think of a wish. She looked at Irvine. *I wish that... I wish that I find my one true love.* She took in a deep breath and blew out all the candles. Everyone cheered. The band started up. The music filled the air as Rinoa shooed everyone to their seats. Irvine and Squall who had taken Rinoa's position, took the cake to the large table in the front with the rest of the food. On an adjacent table were Selphie's many gifts.  
  
"May I have this first dance, Selphie Tilmett?" Irvine asked holding his hand out to the birthday girl. She accepted. *Gotta tell her.*  
  
"Yup!" She was led onto the floor and together they danced, forgetting the world around them.  
  
^I hear people say all the time, I love you  
  
I've been searching for someone to be mine, I want you^  
  
"I love you, Sephy," he whispered into her ear.  
  
"I love you," she replied. Then something tapped their shoulders. Zell was there with Quistis  
  
"Switch? Zell asked. Irvine gave a quick glance to Selphie and they nodded in unison. The two couples switched partners. "Happy big 2-5 Selph!"  
  
"Thanks Zell," Selphie said, keeping count of her steps for some reason.  
  
"Um... Selphie... can I tell you something?" She gave him a look of complete and utter surprise.  
  
"Of course. You can tell me anything."  
  
"I... okay... I... love you." Something in his tone told her, it was not a friendly love. It was a real love. She felt her heartbeat go faster. *Is this the true love I've been wishing for? But Irvine.* Zell frowned at her silence. "Selphie..."  
  
"I'm sorry Zell..."  
  
"I know... Irvine..."  
  
"No... no! Not Irvine. It's not Irvine... It's me. I'm really confused now, sorry." She stopped and looked at Irvine. He looked so happy holding Quistis in his arms. "I need some air. Okay?" He nodded without looking at her face. She walked out of the quad despite the many worried glances she got and the accusing ones at Zell. They failed to noticed the other person who left. Seifer.  
  
~  
  
Selphie let her tears flow as she leaned over the railing letting the warm summer wind blow through her hair. The tears were caught by the wind flying like sparklig diamonds.  
  
^I look around, I'm getting older  
  
It's been a while since I've been in love  
  
I look over my shoulder  
  
And by chance I see you looking my way  
  
You come on over, we've nothing to say  
  
But don't think that means, you're getting your way^  
  
She felt someone coming and frantically wiped her eyes. She turned. "Seifer!" she squeaked noticing the tall blond was closer to her then she thought. He was only two feet away.  
  
"Surprise, little messenger girl?" he said with his trademark smirk.  
  
"Did you come to make fun of me, lapdog?" She frowned. He didn't like that at all. He shook his head and walked closer to her. She step back, repetance all over her face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you." He shook his head again and stood next to her leaning on the rail. "Then why do you have that funny face?"  
  
"..." He pulled down an imaginary hat, in a oh-too-familiar fashion.  
  
"Irvine?" He gave her a smile and a thumbs up. "Zell?" She figured it out. Sort of. "What about them?" He shook his head and stared straight ahead. She jumped into his line of vision. "Well?"  
  
"..."  
  
"What? You're turning into Squall suddenly." He looked at her surprise.  
  
"Didn't think you'd pull that one."  
  
"Okay... Well? What about Irvine and Zell?"  
  
"I was wondering if you wanted to tell me."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Yes you do."  
  
"No I don't."  
  
"Yes you do."  
  
"No I don't."  
  
"Yes you do."  
  
"No I don't."  
  
"I can go on forever. Yes you do."  
  
"I can too. No I don't."  
  
"Why are you denying the fact that there IS something?"  
  
"BECAUSE there is NOTHING."  
  
"Then WHY were you crying?"  
  
"I wasn't."  
  
"Bzzt. Try again."  
  
"Can't I cry sometime?"  
  
"Bzzt. One more try."  
  
"I just wanted to?" He chuckled.  
  
"Poor little messenger girl. What is it about you that has guys lusting after you? Why am I?" He left with that thought, his white trenchcoat flowing dramatically behind him.  
  
^I want to fall in love so badly  
  
Please don't take advantage of me  
  
I need someone to love and hold  
  
Baby, can you fit that role^  
  
*What could he have possibly meant? 'Why am I?' He doesn't... does he? What a dilemma.*  
  
~  
  
Irvine looked around. *Where is she?!* "Irvine," a voice called from behind him. He jerked around. It was Quistis. "Are you all right? You don't look too well."  
  
"No... I mean yes. I'm fine Quisty." He flashed her his usual teethy smile.  
  
  
  
"Well... if you're sure. You're thinking about her, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah. I don't know how I can tell her this."  
  
"Just tell her what you truly feel. Remember I'm here for you." She took his hand.  
  
"Thanks Quisty." He squeezed her hand.  
  
~  
  
Zell looked around, scanning the small crowd for the bright face that made his heart beat. She wasn't there. He sighed. He knew she still loved Irvine. *Damn too foward,* he chastised himself for the earlier incident. He scanned the crowd again. They were looking at someone. *SELPHIE!* He jumped up from his seat and restrained himself from running over. She was smiling and bounced down the steps back to the floor.  
  
"Sorry, everyone," she squealed as Edea gave her hug. The party resumed. Irvine came over to the birthday girl. "Irvine... I have to..."  
  
^I want to fall in love so badly  
  
Please don't take advantage of me  
  
Step by step give this love a try  
  
Not a fast love, don't let it go by^  
  
"I have to tell you something, Selphie," he said emotionlessly.  
  
"I have to tell you something, too." He offered his arm. She took it and together they walked to a corner where no one would hear the conversation.  
  
"You first."  
  
"No, you first."  
  
"You first."  
  
"No, you."  
  
"Seffie, just go." She sighed.  
  
"I..."  
  
^Tell me, this love is gonna last  
  
I don't want to wake up suddenly alone  
  
It all blowing in my face like a bomb's blast  
  
If you leave, the pain will be down to the bone  
  
Don't leave me all alone... I love you^  
  
  
  
  
  
I love cliffhangers! Muah! 


	4. I Have Something to Tell you Part two

Shape of My Heart: I Have to Tell You Something Part two Voting is DONE! For this part anyway... The Magnetism Series is gonna be done by ResureXtion since she's doing alot of work on this anyway... It's suppose to be a continuation of this series. So keep an eye out for it. Okay the results are... drumroll please... For Irvine, the future Mrs. Kinneas is... Quistis Trepe. And for Selphie, sorry Caleb Nova and Houston and other Zelphie and Selvine goers, but the winner is Seifer (cursed Jaye:- )It's all her fault, blame her! She encouraged people to vote for Seifer). Sorry it took a long time and that it's very short, but since ResureXtion is taking over, it's going to be good! Yay...  
  
*What went wrong? '"Selphie we were destined to be together," he said. "Y-yeah right," I stammered. "A sigh of love?" "N-no!" He left when Squall came over.' My heart was beating so fast then. Squall could care less. *What happened? One day I'm head over heels for him. The next he starts flirting with me, professing his undying love. Then kaput! A few years later. Nothing. Except maybe a bleeding heart for the neighborhood bad boy. Sigh.* "Irvine... I... don't think I am in... that I still... love you," Selphie said, the words slowly coming out and sinking in even slower. ".... Wow... maybe it was good that you went first." He looked over at Quistis. "I sort of..." She placed her fingers on his lips. *All this time? He's loved her all this time?* "Go." They turned their seperate ways. One to love, one to depair.  
  
~Meanwhile outside the quad: "Zell?" a female voice called out. He turned to see the oh-so-familiar face. It was the Balamb Hotel hostess.  
  
Sorry that it's short, but Jaye's gonna make up for it during the Magnetism series! 


End file.
